We don't know when it started or who came up with the idea but what is clear is that we - men and women both - are expecting sex to solve everything: horniness, loneliness, frustration, sadness, a headache, work stress, boredom, emotional vulnerability, low self esteem, a fight (especially that one!), cover up guilt etc. Things have nothing at all to do with sex, let alone making love.
We bring all the emotional issues from our childhood and adolescence, from our exes, from work, from articles on perfecting orgasms, etc. to bed with us and have the audacity to be surprised that sex didn't turn out to be amazing.
What you put in, is what you get out. The next time you are ready to have sex, ask yourself: "Why am I doing this$%:"
The emotional issues underneath needs to be released before (I said before) you can feel your sexual feelings and really enjoy them. The emotional issues do not have to be painful ones, but any strong feeling that you seek to stop, avoid or resolve by having sex. The very act of trying to stop, avoid or resolve the emotion actually prevents sexual energy from moving freely in the body.
The release of pent-up emotions can actively stimulate creativity, reduce anxiety, help to develop a sense of free-abandon, and also, thanks to the body's innate wisdom, open pleasure treasures locked deep within the body.
Good sex is a series of intense positive emotions, that when combined, result in the greatest feeling that you will ever know - but only if there are no pent-up emotions to tip the scale in the other direction.
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